I’m starting to think…….. either….    I’d stay by your side and continue hurting myself…. or just let you go and try to find my happiness without you.


Mother Knows Best

Two years ago , I was just a 15 year old junior-high student with a lot of worries about my love life than my studies.  A full-time dreamer of what my future would be with the man I love. Thinking if we are going to get married when in reality, I wasn’t even sure if our relationship will last. Then my senior-high life came and the twist in my life started.

We went in different school. We were miles apart. That’s when I have realized that there is a bigger world existing outside our own world that we built. That’s when I have learnt that life is way easy, and at the same time too complicated.

Having spent four years of my junior life in the same white brick building and seeing the same familiar faces seemed to be very tiring. But now, I can say that it wasn’t tiring at all because those forty months of my life were the best. I was with my friends who were with me through my ups and downs. I spent every day of that four years with them, talking nonsense, laughing endlessly, and at times crying desperately. I never had the chance to miss them because we talk and meet everyday. Not until I transferred to a school far from them.

Transferring has never been my option. I’d rather be a working student than to be apart from my friends and family.  I argued with my mother for God knows how many times just for her not to send me in this school because I don’t really want to transfer… but do I have a choice? It is my mother’s will, and so I need to follow her. I went to my new school alone with only one thing running on my mind …… “Mother knows best.”

Those first two weeks of my stay here was the worst. I haven’t found any friend. I’m a loner, I eat alone, go home alone, walk alone and do anything I need to do ALONE. I am a total disaster, but not until I met LARP (Lancel, Apridelyn, Renebhel, PJ). My life started to be colorful again. I began to discover new things, new secrets and new attitudes. I also start to become comfortable with my new classmates and be close to them eventually. People here weren’t that bad at all, like how I think they were. I was able to get along with them well. I was able to live comfortably here like this is the place where I really belong.

Following my mother’s will is not really a bad idea. It helped me to be a better person and to be independent. It helps me to learn and discover new things that I never know. It also helps me to realize that life is not always the way we wanted it to be. And that in order to have a better future, we must learn how to make everything the most of it.